She stares at the timer
The time decreases
Slowly
The smell is cinnamon
Her eyes are fixed on them
They expand on the pan where they sit
Heat radiating off and warming the area around
A sudden noise breaks her stare
She whips her head toward the noise
The dog sits patiently waiting for one of his toys
DING
The noise radiates throughout the house
She jumps to her feet and shouts
“The cookies are done!”
Author: Angelique T
Work cited: Angelique T, Cookies, November 15, 2019
I really like how you were saying, There is a noise she whips her head toward the noise. That was good and telling us she got exside when the cooikes where done. U did a good job
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This is very nice! I like how it gives the sense of vivid imagery with just a few short sentences at a time, well done!
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So cute! This was very fun to read. I like how you built the anticipation throughout the poem and how you picked an event that most of us have experienced.
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I liked the story. It was nice because it was descriptive of the smells and feelings the person had about waiting for the cookies which was similar to the dog waiting for its toy. After I read it, I felt hungry for cookies. I felt the suspense was real intense because the writer wrote about the smells which increased the suspense. Overall I enjoyed the blog and I thought it was good.
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This sound so profesional it’s super good.
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The sensory was amazing. The mention of your dog made it seem so much more real because my dog follows me and sits every time I go into the kitchen hoping I drop food for him to eat.
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Angelica, your poem was interesting, engaging and totally relatable too. Whenever my family would have cookies, they same thing would happen (except for the dog because we don’t have one ). Your poem made me want to eat some cookies with milk 🍪, Good job 🙂
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I really liked the way you talked about the smell of the cookies and the heat radiating. It made me think I was there waiting for the cookies too. The DING was great because I too knew the cookies were done.
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Theses sentences gave me a vivid imagery of what is happening, despite that this is a short article, and that there are very few words in each sentence. I noticed in the article that there are senses in some of the sentences, sight, hearing, and smell. These senses included in the sentences, and the details included are what makes this article seem so vivid. I very much like this article, good job.
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I loved this poem. It was very descriptive and I could almost smell the cookies myself. It was as if I was there waiting for the cookies. I loved how simple the sentences were because it really made you focus on the imagery itself. Overall very good!
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The way it was written does seem professional! It made me eager to read more. It was nicely written and a really cute story.
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I loved this poem a lot! It has beautiful sensory language. It made me feel like I was in my grandpa’s kitchen again when I was little watching the cookies we just made cook in the oven. Keep up the amazing work!
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I remember seeing this in the Class Connect. I like how immersive you can make this with just words. You give just enough information to imagine what it’s all like in our heads.
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